This week, I’ve found myself wrestling with some thoughts about how I use the word “happy”. It means different things to different people. For some, it’s the general vibe they give off every day, as they walk around with smiles on their faces and radiate positivity – “they are a happy person!” For others, it may be a loaded term, as it is more like a goal they can achieve – the pursuit of happiness, if you will.
Years ago, I would have fallen into the camp of people who were in the pursuit of happiness. I thought I could buy my happiness, which is why I filled my apartment with brand new furniture (that I paid for with credit) and financed a brand new car. I also thought I could drink my way to happiness. I’m grateful it didn’t take too many years for me to see these were only temporary solutions to bigger problems.
As you know, the past couple of months have been a little tough, and it has taken a toll on my mental health. I actually feel more self-aware than ever, right now, and feel like I have a much better handle on my anxiety than I did a few weeks ago. But when a friend asked if I was happy, I knew I had to be honest: not right now, but sometimes! I feel happy at least a few times every day. :)