It’s Not Brave If You’re Not Afraid

I’m sorry for springing that surprise update on you all and then disappearing! I can’t remember the last time I went so long without checking my blog stats, replying to comments, etc. But for anyone who has ever moved across a province, state, country or further, you will know that the to-do lists are long. And every time you cross one thing off the list, it seems like three more things are added to it.

As I write this, it’s Tuesday night. I just finished packing my bags and am now sipping a steaming hot mug of ginger mint tea. I’m on Day 6 of a round of antibiotics for a sinus infection and my ears are still so plugged that the pharmacist had to give me extra decongestants today. Apparently, I have run myself down. Which should come as no surprise to anyone, especially myself, based on how quickly my life is changing.

Not even three weeks ago, I accepted my new job offer with, gave notice at my apartment, and told my family I was moving. The next day, I gave notice at work and started to tell friends. A few days after that, I flew to Denver for 5 days, and came home with only 9 days left to pack, move, and say my goodbye’s (or, as I like to call them, see you later’s).

I threw one last party at my apartment (apparently 16+ people can fit into 500 sq. ft.). I moved. I cleaned. I changed all of my addresses and researched health insurance information for cross-country moves. I took the driving insurance off my car, parked it, and bought storage insurance. Oh, and of course I packed (and unpacked and packed again).

As for my finances, my chequing account is actually pretty happy right now. Yes, I’ve had to fork out a couple chunks of change, but I’m also expecting some back. In the end, I expect this move will cost me no more than $1,000. Until I receive my security deposit and a few refund cheques in the mail, I’ll keep my receipts and save that post for another day.

Having had no time to waste, I also have no answer to the question, “does it seem real yet?” That I’m leaving? Not at all. That tomorrow morning I will say one last see you later to my family and board a plane to my new life? It seems impossible. But it’s happening. And now I can only hope I’ve seen everyone I wanted to see, done everything I wanted to do, and have forgotten nothing important.

One thing I keep hearing/reading is how brave this decision is; well, that’s not an adjective I’ve ever used to describe myself. But I do believe there are risks involved. While I am confident in my decision to go, it doesn’t mean I’m not scared to fail. But there are new challenges to take on; new experiences to live. And, as my beautiful friend Clare always quotes, “it’s not brave if you’re not afraid.”

The next time I write, it’ll be from Toronto. See you then and there, friends!

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