A Bold Move

June 22, 2012

Well, this is a post I can guarantee you never saw coming…

For the last week or so, I’ve had this pit in the bottom of my stomach. At first, I thought it was just stress. I had been go go go with fundraising, trying to finish school and working out 4+ days per week, that I hadn’t taken any time to sit and really reflect on what it is that I was feeling.

When I was at the gym, I wasn’t focused on my workouts. I was focused on the time and how little I had. When I was doing homework, I didn’t care about the quality. I wanted to produce the content and submit it. I wasn’t eating very well. I was only getting 3-4 hours of sleep per night. And I was ignoring what was really going on. But earlier this week, I finally figured it out: I didn’t want to go to the Bold Academy anymore.

There are a number of reasons that made me reach this decision, not all of which I’m comfortable sharing yet, but no one could have been more shocked about it than I was. And then came the fear. The fear of saying that I didn’t think it was the right move at this time. The fear of telling you that, after two months of talking about this, I no longer wanted to do it. And the fear of what everyone else would say in response.

I tried to talk myself out of it. I went back and re-read every single post that I’ve mentioned the Bold Academy in. I read emails and tweets and text messages from you all. I repeatedly asked myself how I could come so far and now not want to go. But nothing could change my mind. So, I trusted my gut instinct and my intuition and I gave up my spot. And the relief that came with it has been unimaginable…

I’m now crazily working through refunding everyone’s donations, as well as still trying to finish school by the end of the month. But then I’m going to take the first week of July off to relax and reflect. I’ve been in school for the last 24 months, and haven’t had a summer off since 2009. That’s not even close to being one of the reasons I gave up my spot in the Bold Academy, but I am realizing that I could probably use a bit of a break.

The final point I want to add here is that I do not discredit any of the efforts you all made to help me reach my goal of going. I was there. I was in. And it would never have happened, without you. I feel as though I am full of good, new and positive energy, that I not only want to share with others but also use to pay it forward. I feel like a new version of myself. A better version who knows the good this world is capable of.

I’ll leave it there for now, as I have a lot of missed sleep to catch up on, and then more homework to do. But I’d like to add that I hope you won’t see me as any less of a person or friend, as a result of this decision. Because trusting your intuition is one of the scariest things you can do… and I don’t regret anything about trusting mine.

  • Travis Pizel (@DebtChronicles) June 22, 2012 at 4:26 am

    Having come this far in your quest to go to the Bold academy, realize that it’s not what you want, and having the guts to admit it and reverse course?

    You’re already Bold, my friend. You continue to inspire me.

    Looking forward to meeting you at #fincon12 in September……

    • Lauren June 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      This. I couldn’t have said it better. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut – it’s way better than the flip side (aka regretting not doing it later)


  • Financial Confessions of a Former Brat June 22, 2012 at 4:30 am

    I know how good being honest with yourself feels, and I don’t see how anyone could think any less of you for it. You made a decision that was right for you. It’s obvious that there are bigger and better opportunities out there for you, regardless of whether you wanted to take this one.

    I hope the rest of June goes smoothly so you can take a much deserved break in July!

  • Canadianbudgetbinder June 22, 2012 at 4:34 am

    You did something many people have a difficult time doing and that is being honest with themselves and others. We have to do what we feel is best for us and not worry what others think. If this decision is one that makes you feel as if a weight has been lifted and puts you in your happy place then so be it. Keep on smiling darlin. Cheers Mr.CBB

  • bogofdebt June 22, 2012 at 6:09 am

    If it was causing you stress, and you feel that much immediate relief? I’m glad you went with your gut. That took some BOLD moves.

  • Kaylan June 22, 2012 at 6:49 am

    I’m so glad you realized this now before going and dreading everyday. It’ll be okay. Remember that YOUR happiness is what matters most, and everyone around you who truly cares about you will think the same thing.

  • Budget & the Beach June 22, 2012 at 7:26 am

    Like the others said, trusting your instincts IS a bold move!

  • fromshoppingtosaving June 22, 2012 at 7:45 am

    Cait – I still believe in you no matter what and I am so glad you made this decision based on your intuition and gut. What would have been worse is doing something or going after something that doesn’t resonate well with you or whatever it is that would possibly make you feel uncomfortable. You gotta do what you need to do, and we should always listen to our guts and our brains. I’m glad you made this decision for yourself and I couldn’t possibly imagine how stressed out you were just thinking about telling us! I appreciate your honesty and I’ll always have respect for you.

    God forbid you be human!!!! LOL I still <3 you!

  • Jobsquad June 22, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Better late than never as I always say…you’d feel terrible getting there and being dissapointed – you’ve made the right decision!

    Now have a TIM TAM SLAM and just breathe!

    xoxo – Bennetor!

  • hithatsmybike June 22, 2012 at 8:18 am

    Only you know what’s right for you — and that’s what we support ;)

    It takes guts to turn around but it’s better than continuing in the wrong direction! You’re doing the right thing and that’s all that matters. I second Travis: you’re already bold!

  • ashlyandmonkey June 22, 2012 at 10:05 am

    You have to do what’s right for you!!!! xo

  • lifeisfullofsunnydays June 22, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Good for you for realizing this before getting there. Sometimes all you have is your gut.

  • Mo' Money Mo' Houses (@momoneymohouses) June 22, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Good for you! You’ve got to go with your gut and it’s ok to change your mind (though sometimes I also find that hard to come to terms with). I think taking a break is a good decision, everyone needs to take some time to relax, reflect, so they can re-energize for whatever comes next.

  • See Debt Run (@seedebtrun) June 22, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    I’ve done some seemingly crazy things trusting my intuition as well. I think it’s very important to always listen to your heart. Hopefully after making this decision, the weight (at least some of it) was lifted from your shoulders and you are once again able to focus on other important areas of your life.

  • Michelle June 22, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your decision. I would trust what your gut is telling you.

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  • Allison @Insomniac Lab Rat June 22, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    It sounds like this was the right decision for you, and like Bridget said, we’re supporting YOU!

    It’s hard to trust your instinct when your gut is telling you to make a complete change! But, the sooner you realize that you want something different, the sooner you can get on the right path :)

  • Carrie Smith (@applecsmith) June 22, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Wow, Cait! All I can say is, you should be super proud of yourself – like I am. It takes guts and courage to change your mind and follow where your heart is taking you. Thanks for being honest and opening up about your new decision. I’m still rooting for ya!

  • LittleFrugalista June 22, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    Agreed with everyone else – super bold move to acknowledge that it wasn’t what you wanted to do. So proud of you. Now get out there and do all the things you really want to do! ;)

  • myjampackedlife June 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I can’t believe you aren’t gonna go. But I’m super proud of you for not going just to please everyone else. That takes guts and courage to do what you want and only what you want I would have went and hated it and came back and been all “it was great…” just to make everyone happy. Good for you!

  • centsofacountrygirl June 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    Wow, I was definitely surprised to see this post. I’m glad to hear that you decided to listen to your gut. I’ve always thought that gut instincts are a powerful thing and best to listen to. From what I’m reading, it sounds like you really don’t need to go to this Bold Academy anyways ;) I’d say you’re plenty bold.

    I hope you’re planning on taking the time you would have spent at the Bold Academy and having a good vacation/break from it all.

  • queenlbee June 25, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    All of my biggest financial mistakes of late have come from not going with my gut. I’m the type of person who thinks “well maybe I should just do this because of xy or z” despite how I’m actually feeling. Though things are probably tough right now you will NEVER regret this time-I’m proud to be your fan!

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